Dear God,

I have a few questions...
You know I alwayz feel down from time to time...
So pls, answer me this one more time... and give me strength to move on...
I feel sad whenever I see happy families...
I alwayz wanted a Dad...
But why, ohhh why I can't have a father like any other girls..?
Why can't I have a perfect family?
And why can't I say it to my mom's face whenever I feel sad abt it?
Why did everyone luked down on us when we were young..?
Why did our dad leave us when we were only 2 & 1 yr olds..?
Why do I alwayz choke whenever I see him?
Why dun I have the courage to say "Hey, Dad.. we've missed you. Cum visit us sumtimes..?"?
Why do I cry whenever he ignores me..?
Why didn't he call and check on us not even once..?
Why does my mom luvs thanboo more..?
Why did my mom has to work so hard to support us..?
Why dun I feel loved most of my life..?
Why do I miss my dad from time to time even tho I neva knew him at all.?
Yea, he's not even thur when I started walking...
He's not even thur when I started schooling..
He was not thur AT ALL...
So why do I miss him..?
Does he miss me like I do..?
Why do I have so many questions abt him..? I dun hav to ask these things at all...
Coz he's neva thur n neva will be :(

Dear God, my dear God...
Make me a robot... set my heart with steel...
Make me neva cry nor sad..
Make me neva miss my dad...
Amen~

Time:8.28pm

Mood: Dazed n confused

Place:Home

I really really wanna move out...
I hate staying in the room n eating in the room alone watching DVDs...
I hate to wash my clothes only at night after the owners sleep...
I hate it when they're kids cum back home on weekdays and talk too loud...
I hate the fact that they lied to me abt their kids not staying at home..
I hate to smoke unfreely in my room...
I hate it when the owner lady pretend to be nice...
I hate it when I can't smoke in the toilet...

Yea, there goes 7 things I hate about living with the owners :(

When I wake up in the morning, the name I wanna see on my gtalk screen is yours…
When I came home from outside, I always switch on my pc as quick as possible to wait for you to appear on the screen…
I personally think itz so sweet of you to leave me small chats while I’m asleep… those smalls chats r the things I luk forward to in the mornings =]
And here goes sumthin’ for u ~

Love be still
Love be sweet
Don’t you dare
Change a thing
I want to photograph you with my mind
To feel how I feel now all the time
Say that you'll stay
Forever this way
Forever and forever
That we'll never have to change
Don’t move
Don’t breathe
Don’t change
Don’t leave
And promise me
Say you'll stay
We'll stay
This way

I really really really miz u, sxunele =(

I hope u miz me, too~

I'm neva alone..
I'm alone all the time...
R u at one..?
Or do u lie..?
We live in a wheel...
Where everyone steals...
But when we rise, itz like strawberry fields =]

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Dear You,

These are the things I'll neva say to ur face...

I'm juz happy to luk at you...
I'm juz happy to see you smile... or laugh...
I'll walk 500 miles, n I'll walk 500 more if itz juz to see you...
I'll dream abt your smile each n every nite...
I'll go online for 205th times in a day juz to see your name...
I'll never forget you even tho u forget abt me...
You're juz a sweet lil' thing for me..
You're juz so sweet when u smile...
I hope you do well in wuteva u do.. I hope u're happy whenever, wherever....
I hope you'll neva have to cry nor u'll eva hav to b sad...
I want you to be happy all the time...
Yea, keep smiling... keep laughing, pls =]
I no that I'm gonna walk away without saying a thing to u...
But no, not rite now.. coz itz juz not enuff to see u...
See u now.. but wanna see u more...
Oh, God.. I'm fucked.. coz I'm deeply in love...
Well, but I can't do a thing.. coz sumthings r neva meant to b.. n i dun wanna test u & me whether we're meant to b...
I can't take it if we're neva meant to b...
(Ohh, shote kone b... XP )

Bye, love.. I'll neva say how much me luv ya... But, oh boyyy..I lub u so frigging much..
Hope u sleep well tonite... n each n every nite...
I wish you well...

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Must be your skin that I'm sinkin' in...
Must be for real cause now I can feel...
And I didn't mind...
It's not my kind...
Not my time to wonder why...
Everything's gone white...
And everything's grey...
Now you're here... now you're away...
I don't want this...
Remember that...
I'll never forget where your at~